The First Person Thing
Saturday I spent working on Wild Cards. I completed another interstitial section, and am debating about a sub-sub plot that may get dropped out of my story. It’s a space thing. I feel like I’m well on my way to writing a short novel for short story money. But I’m having fun, and if it’s all about the money writing is the wrong game.
On Sunday I finally found the nerve to open up book two of the EDGE series, and look for a scene to rewrite in first person. Ian had the very good suggestion that I not launch into the entire book without running a controlled test first. I picked a scene in the middle of the book, and pulled it out. It was my guinea pig for major surgery. It’s an important and fairly dramatic scene and as I reread it I realized I hated it. It sucks. Now this is worrying to me. I’m convinced a book sucks when I finish it, but usually when I’ve gotten some months distance on the work I decide it isn’t that bad. Well, I still don’t like this book. Or at least this scene in the book.
I’ve pretty much finished the test rewrite, but it feels awkward, and I think it’s because I’m not starting at the beginning. I’m trying to jump into the head and voice of my main character literally in the middle of this adventure. So for me to have an answer about whether I rewrite this book I think I’m going to have to run another test and rewrite the first scenes of the book. I don’t think I’m crazy to be contemplating this move. These books are very important to me, and might be the thing that establish me once more as a prose writer. I want these books to be as good as I can possibly make them.
Melinda
May 28th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Passion, good. Obsession, good. Tinkering, good. Perfection; bad. You do not, nor have you written, something that “sucks.” In the creation of good we travel through “sucks.” But I wonder, if sucks is the gateway through which good trudges through, how much does suck really suck? Birth sucks. But not really. What you’ve written doesn’t suck. It may not be finished being birthed…but it does not suck.
Now, I find, after talking like I posses knowledge that I don’t – I need to make a pb&j sandwich. Exert myself in something I’ve got mastery over. And, it all starts with the sourdough…
-Rhae
May 28th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Sourdough and pb&j? My mind is boggling.
I do appreciate the support. Right now I feel like that song from Avenue Q — “It Sucks to Be Me”.
May 31st, 2007 at 8:37 am
We’ve never met, but I’ve heard about you and several others from Critical Mass through Ian Tregillis - he and I attended Clarion together in 2005. From what he has said of your skill and expertise, I truly doubt your novel “sucks” the way you think it does. I’ve been told we are our own worst critic and this is probably a case of that.
Have you considered giving the section to someone else to read and assess, someone who’s opinion you trust? Just a thought.
In any case, for what it’s worth coming from a complete stranger :), hang in there, I’m sure you’ll figure out the problem and be able to solve it.