Confession Time
As you all know, I like action movies. So, I had this secret desire to see TRANSFORMERS. Fortunately (or unfortunately) my friend Ian had the same guilty desire. So we went off to see the movie last night. Now, the whole idea of robots that can turn into cars or jet planes is just cool. And the first action sequence in Qatar was fine. The CGI had the camera set well back so you got the full effect of the helicopter transforming and the robot rampaging through the parked jets, and tiny little people running, shooting and screaming. I rolled my eyes over the racism played for a laugh, but then we cut to California and our young hero.
Shia LaBeouf has enormous charisma and I can see why he was cast for the new Indiana Jones movie. He’ll be a great foil for Harrison Ford. But back to TRANSFORMERS I liked the themes of teenage male sexuality personified by cars. The idea of a car as a place where fathers and sons bond. The American obsession with cars. Then the other robots arrived and the whole thing went right off the rails.
Look, I know it’s about big fighting robots, but at least make a nod toward it making sense. Ian and I were going “now what was on great-grandad’s glasses? It’s supposed to show the location of the cube, but they had moved the cube so the glasses are useless. And why didn’t the good guy robots just buy the glasses off of ebay instead of sneaking around in the backyard? (a truly ludicrous scene and not in a good way). There were small nits that made me crazy in the continuity. When the robots take out the electrical lines all the lights in the neighborhood go off except the decorative Christmas lights in the backyard were still on.
The CGI robot battles looked like an auto junk yard in a blender. Why, or why didn’t they keep the same distance for the big battles? Too expensive? Too hard? Because it’s the fashion for an action sequence now? Also, I so would have changed the names of the robot factions. As Ian said, “when you’re called the Decepticons it’s a pretty good bet they shouldn’t be trusted.
And then there was the asshole federal agent. This has got to have been a studio note. “Let’s see, there isn’t enough jeopardy to our hero and heroine (other then the giant robots), so let’s create this bad guy Fed. He can also be comic relief. Yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea!”. Oh, and the comedic fat African-American kid which made me cringe. And what about the NSA analyst who appeared to be Australian. I so want to see that security clearance.
So, okay, Ty, you were right. But we had some good laughs and I at least got to see one neat robot kicking the sh** out of jet planes.
At least I’m reading a good book right now. More on that once I’ve finished.
Melinda
August 6th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
On Friday I learned that I’d already missed Die Hard 4 before its exit from my local theater and I was determined not to miss Transformers as well. I took the afternoon off and caught it in an almost-empty theater.
The plot was paper thin, the characters were photocopies of stereotypes (including the attractive young woman hiding a DARK PAST), and anything remotely resembling the law of conservation of mass went out the window. Okay, I can’t really blame them for the last one. It isn’t as if the original cartoon took physics seriously either.
In all fairness, I don’t think they moved the cube. My understanding is that they found *Megatron* and learned the location of the cube in the same way as the explorer. They then moved Megatron to that location and hid them both. Thus the explorer’s glasses were still a valid roadmap. Now, if you ask me why the Autobots returned to the observatory to view the map, I got nothin’.
Fun, giant robot b*tt-kicking action? Check. Anything capable of withstanding critical thinking? Negatory. Worth the matinée price? Sure.
August 6th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
But that’s exactly my point. It was, for the most part, NOT fun robot buttkicking action. Most of the action was nigh indecipherable due to the patented Michael Bay confus-o-vision style of camera work.
I didn’t know which robot had been killed until the end of the movie when Optimus says his name. I know that some decepticons got killed, but other than the tank, I couldn’t tell you which ones.
See, I am ok with paper thin plots and silly science. But if you are going to have a movie about robots fighting, I actually want to be able to see the robots fighting. Not just a blur of parts flashing past the screen.
August 6th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I agree with you, Ty. There was only one fight sequence — the first one — that made any sense at all. You couldn’t see a damn thing. But it isn’t just this movie. They’re _all_ like this now.
August 6th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
It is a cinematic movement I heartily oppose.
Did everyone forget that the Matrix broke the mold, not just with flashy bullet-time camera work, but by showing us fight scenes in long unbroken shots?
Quick cut action scenes are for hacks.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
I liked Trannies. Not those tr–. Okay, restart.
The first 1/2 of Tranformers felt like they were giving me a glimpse of what this could have been like had it been rated R and taken down a more “Alien” road. And I liked it.
Yet, I didn’t begrudge the second 1/2 that felt, plot and dialogue wise, like it was for the PG crowd. The shooting of it, though…twisty, turny, spin-y was the new Directing Directive: “Blurry Confusion.” Directive successful.
But I still liked the whole of it. Even the dumb parts. Even the, what I call, “Scoobie Doo” moments where everything that is to occur is explained for the blind or crazy; or the young. Whichever. Normally I despise this but I came away from the movie noting this occurred but was unphased by it. That’s when I began to wonder if I had been prepped for this by the few episodes of the cartoon that I caught when I was younger.
In the end I thought they did a fine job of trying to please two disparate action groups: adults and kids.
But, my goodness, I’d like them to go back and give me a full on grown up version.
August 7th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Just to comment on Melinda’s last paragraph:
I am Cassandra. I am always right, but no one ever listens to me.
August 9th, 2007 at 5:18 am
[…] you absolutely must read another review of this movie, author Melinda Snodgrass saw it the same weekend as I and shared her own […]